Life with Lucy
by Neku the Last Reaper
Summary: Life with the happy One Stroke family. Hijinks sold separately.
1. Report 1: Sephiroth

**A/N: **Okay so sue me, I haven't updated any of my ongoing projects... I will I swear! But first a birthday present, co-authored by the birthday girl, my mom! I wrote the ending bit by myself. So this will be a sporadically updated series of one shots (like my Hojo series, only not as frequent nor as long). So give a shout to xLadyxLibertyx

**Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII and the lyrics at the end are from "White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane. Lucy is my pseudosibling since we're both my mother's children. And Kamui is all mine.**

Lucy: Age 7

"Dad-dy! Dad-dy!!" Lucy Valentine ran into the front room of Valentine Hall frantically waving a piece of paper over her head. "DAD-DY!!"

"Sweetheart? What is it? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" Sephiroth ran into the mansion's large entryway, half-alarmed. Lucy was certainly excited about something. She looked all right. Must not be bad, hurt, or crying, or any of the other multitude of things that could be wrong.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!!" Sephiroth scooped his daughter up in his arms and placed her on his hip. She was just home from school. Where was Tessa anyway. "Today our teacher told us that every week, every week, every week we have to write a report about a person we know, and I don't know who to do!"

Sephiroth leaned back surprised at his daughter's announcement. Children had to write, what? Budget reports? After-action reports? Personnel reports? These were just some of the reports with which he was familiar. None of these seemed to be what she was talking about though. "All right, what does that mean, Lucy?"

"Daddy! Weren't you listening?!"

Lucy was starting to cry. Sephiroth leaned even further back. He could rarely cope with tears, especially not his daughter's, especially when she was burying her face in his shoulder! All right, try again. "Lucy dear, what kind of report do you have to write?" There, that should clear matters up.

"A report about a person we know, and I don't know who to do…" Lucy again buried her face in his shoulder, wiping her tears on his shirt. Well, at least he was wearing a knit cotton shirt, black of course, for a changed. His black leather coat just wasn't good at absorbing water. "Nyah, nyah, nyah."

"So you have to write a _story_ about a person?" Sephiroth had learned to read Lucy bedtime stories. A story was something he was familiar with.

"No, it's a report!"

"Yes, I gathered that much. Not a story. Hm."

Just then Tessa came in from the garage.

"Mom-my! Mom-my!! MOM-MY!! Daddy doesn't get it!"

"Sweetheart… Here." Tessa set her bags on the floor by her feet and reached to take her daughter from her husband. "Now, you were telling me in the car what you needed to do for school. Tell me again now, okay?"

"You, you don't remember?!"

"Of course, I do, honey, but I just remember it was a report about someone. How long does it have to be? Who does it need to be about?"

"Him! It has to be about Daddy!"

Dead silence.

Cccccccccccccc

Zack knew Lucy would be on the roof. Something about roofs just appealed to his niece. When she was unhappy she always ran away to the roof. Maybe they were just taller than Sephiroth. Maybe they kept her out from under Tessa's feet. Anyway, she'd left the door to the roof open. That meant she really wanted someone to come after her. If she'd closed it, then she wouldn't be in a mood to talk to anyone, much less him.

"Hey, kiddo."

"Hey." Lucy sat with her arms wrapped behind her legs and her head against her knees, but she looked up at him. "Did Mom send you up here?"

"Nah, came on my own. My niece senses were tingling."

A smile flickered across Lucy's face. Uncle Zack had the funniest senses sometimes. Not like Daddy's. His were just weird. "Un-cle Zack! Don't kid me. Did you hear about my homework from Mommy?"

"What homework is this?"

"Un-cle Zack! It's the report about somebody I know."

"Any idea who you're gonna do?"

"The teacher said she'd like a report about Daddy!"

"Hm. Any particular thing about Seph?"

"Well, she did say stuff that we don't know about Daddy."

"Whoo, _tabloid stuff!_ Come on, kiddo, I'll help you write the report!"

"Yay!"

Cccccccc

Several days later, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!" Lucy came running into the entry hall waving a piece of paper frantically over her head.

"Yes, sweetheart, what is it?"

"See my report! See! See!"

"Well," Sephiroth took the paper from his daughter's hand and stared at it. His stare turned to a glare as he read the paper. Zack! "Sweetheart, did Uncle Zack help you write this?"

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Good hunh?!"

"Yes, sweetie, very good. Would you go find Uncle Zack for me?"

"Okay!"

"And Auntie Kami, too." He felt the compulsive need to kill something!

Cccccccccccc

Kamui leaned back against the floor. She'd hidden out under the stairs to the basement of Valentine Manor to get a little piece and quiet. Verdot had done well to teach her to hack into data systems, Shin-Ra's network was child's play. No wonder Verdot and Tseng were the gods of information. Though Zack wasn't hard to sneak a paper from for a few minutes. "When logic and proportion have fallen sloppy dead. And the white knight is talking backwards..."

Her fingers folded a chocobo out of a piece of paper, written in a nice non cursive font. Her inner prankster got the better of her and she'd posted Lucy's report on the Shin-Ra forums under her fake account.

_My Daddy by Lucy Valentine_

_My daddy is the best there is. His name is Sephiroth and he runs SOLDIER. His best friend is Uncle Zack, and he's married to Mommy, Dr. Romera from the science department. He has a younger sister in the Turks, but they don't like each other much. Daddy really likes his swords, he likes really sparkly things. I think he keeps a stack of shiny things behind the couch, because Mommy can never find things. He also really likes candy and chocolate, even though Mommy doesn't let him have that much, she says it's not good for him. He also uses this really smelly shampoo that's supposed to be made just for him. He also has a funny cowlick in the mornings, that he always gets really mad at._

_Daddy's job at Shin-Ra is really important, because SOLDIER does lots of fighting. He likes to yell at people when he's at work, and he fights at work sometimes too. He doesn't like Mr. Shin-Ra, course he does work for him, so I bet it's because he gets in trouble a lot. But Uncle Zack says he works hard, but one time when there was a fire drill, Uncle Zack says that Daddy had coffee come out of his nose and he got it on Mr. Shin-Ra's suit! I guess stuff like that happens to him too. I really love my daddy, he's the best._

Kamui shut down the computer as she continued to hum the song that she had been singing earlier. "And the Red Queen's 'Off with her head'. Remember what the dormouse said…"


	2. Report 2: Zachary Fair

**A/N:** Alright I confess when I said this would be a series of one shots, I lied. Bjanik and Mutti helped me to unearth a plot!!!! So for some reason this will now have a plot. For those of you who mind, let me know. Other than that, stay frosty if you live in the Southern Hemisphere, and toasty if you live in the Northern Hemisphere.

Oh and the song that's being sung near the middle was basically the inspiration of the second half of my NaNoWriMo.

**Disclaimer: I don't own FFVII, all SE's property. Nor do I own "Bark at the Moon", all Ozzy Osbourn's property.**

Lucy: Age 7

Sephiroth frowned as he leaned over his secretary, Sylvia, while his eyes glared at the screen. They had accessed the forums, and discovered that someone had posted his daughter's report online. Someone he had never seen around before, Bladestar Runner. He knew everyone who could possibly have dirt on him, and their usernames, but this was a foreign one to him. He scrolled down the comments, Sexiest Turk Alive, aka Reno had taken the first reply. 'DUDE LOLZZ!!!!!' Following him were several posts from other Turks, Cissnei had posted with her name Shuriken. 'Rather amusing, incriminating, but amusing.' His annoying new sister, Kamui, as Abominable Princess had of course left another comment. 'Whoever posted this is a genius.'

"How did this even leave my house?" Sephiroth snarled. He had no other comments to go on to get the jump for who could have possibly posted this. "No… I know… Zack!" Sephiroth snarled and ran from his secretary's desk.

Sylvia sighed, "you know it is days like this that make it all worth while." And on that note she posted a comment on the embarrassing report.

Cccccccccccccc

"Seph! I can understand you're upset but calm down!" Zack shouted as he came face to face with the death glare. "Listen, you know it wasn't me." He made a puppy face at his commander, "you know me. I may put the eraser above the door sometimes, but this is way over what I would do."

Sephiroth considered this for a long while. After all it really was outside of Zack's expertise, he would never publicly humiliate Seph. Sure there were the minor pranks like the eraser but this wasn't Zack's style. No this person had a vendetta against Sephiroth, and access to information, they clearly knew how to get it without much effort. The General heaved a sigh, "I suppose you're right… I overreacted thinking it was you."

"Hey no worries, whoever it is, we'll get 'em!" Zack grinned and almost tackled Sephiroth with a hug.

Cccccccccccccc

Meanwhile out in Sector 5 of Midgar, not two miles from the Shin-Ra main lobby, two silver haired people sat basking in the sun enjoying a nice round of ice cream by the window of the shop. Kamui grinned as she took a chunk out of her chocolate chip ice cream cone. Lucky for her she'd drawn guard for Lucy today. She was singing quietly as she swallowed, "They cursed and buried him so long... now he's returned to prove them wrong... so wrong..." She trailed off at a strange look from Lucy, "never mind me. Go on."

Lucy smiled and hummed slightly as she colored in a picture on her napkin, her half eaten cookies and cream clenched in one hand. She had just been picked up from school and they had a few minutes before they would head anywhere. As she colored she frowned and started to eat her ice cream. She set down her crayon and fished around her backpack. Her hand plucked out a piece of paper and set it down on the table, "Auntie Kami, I needa do another report. But I can't do Daddy again, who should I do?"

Kamui's eyebrows went up and she picked up a strand of hair, twirling it between her thumb and forefinger. "Hmm, well who do you want to do?"

Lucy's lower lip stuck out in a pout as she thought about who she could do, "I wanna save Mommy for last, so I can do an extra special job on it. Hmm…" Her thin, silver brows pulled together as she thought long and hard about it. "I know! Uncle Zack! But… he's probably busy…"

The Turk smirked, "oh I know someone who could give you some information about Uncle Zack."

Cccccccccccccccc

Lucy sat down at the family table after dinner and held up her report a few days after her ice cream encounter. She smiled, "I got another A on my report!" She set it down triumphantly on the table. Vincent picked up the paper, he cocked an eyebrow and handed the paper over to Zack. "..." Was all Vincent said as he glanced around the table of his assembled family.

Zack's eyes widened as he stared at Sephiroth across the table. "H-How could ya do this to me Seph?!" He accused as he handed over the report.

Sephiroth scanned the report, his eyebrows furrowing as he did so.

_My Uncle Zack by Lucy Valentine_

_I really like my Uncle Zack. He works with my daddy in SOLDIER. His official title is Lieutennant General, but I'm not quite sure what that is. Must be real important though, cause he always works hard. Sometimes he sneaks me snacks for my lunch. That always makes me smile. He also acts like a puppy sometimes, I want a puppy but Mommy and Daddy say we can't get one. I guess that's why we have Uncle Zack._

_Mr. Shin-Ra told me that one time one of Daddy's friends put shaving cream in Uncle Zack's shirt when he was in the shower and that Uncle Zack got really mad. But then he tripped and fell in chocobo doody! Also I don't think Uncle Zack is really human, cause his hair is really pointy like a chocobo's feathers. I think he must be part chocobo. But Mr. Shin-Ra said that his hair doesn't stick up like that on his own. I don't know about that but what I do know is that I love my Uncle Zack._

Sephiroth frowned, "well I know that this wouldn't be self incriminating in the least." He set down the piece of paper while he faced Lucy, "sweetie, did anyone ask you to see your paper without you around?"

She shook her head, "nu-uh. Auntie Kami read it so she could make sure it was good, but no one apart from the teacher took it!"

Sephiroth and Zack sighed, maybe it was just a one time incident by some fluke. They decided to retire for the night, the only way to know would be at work the next day.


	3. Report 3: Rufus ShinRa

**A/N: **My mom pointed out that I made a mistake in the previous chapter so I think that the first part of the story was to make up for it. This is a shorter chapter than the other two so far. So please forgive me.

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII, nor "Emo Kid". They are the property of their owners.**

Lucy: Age 7

Lucy stood up from her spot on the floor with a set of blocks and walked up to Zack, "I'm really sorry Uncle Zack… I said you were a higher rank then Daddy…"

Zack blinked and almost dropped his Tessa bar. He scooped up Lucy in his free hand, "no worries kiddo. You talked to Rufus for your information, I'm not surprised he doesn't know how SOLDIER ranking is. It doesn't make any sense to me either." He pulled her into a bear hug, "and thank you for apologizing."

She hung her head, "but I also have another report… and my teacher wants me to do Mr. Shin-Ra…"

Zack smiled, "don't worry, I'm sure he'll talk to you."

Ccccccccccccc

At the office, Sephiroth's eyes studied the computer screen. Sure enough, Bladestar Runner had posted up Zack's report. He pivoted his chair around to address Tseng, "what do you make of this Tseng?"

Tseng's black eyes studied the screen, "I'd say a harmless prank by someone with good taste. Though their casual breech of security in your home is disturbing. I want you to bring in the next report, we can dust for fingerprints and see who's been disrupting your life."

Sephiroth set his head on his laced fingers and went into his deep thinking mode. _What do you make all of this?_

_Hmm…_ Vincent Valentine considered this for a moment. _As Tseng said, harmless prank, perhaps you should put them on the fridge so that if someone does tamper with them, we'll know right away._

_Sounds good. Any hunch as to who it could be?_

_Several, but they will all need to be followed up on._

Ccccccccccccc

Lucy gazed up at Reno hopefully as she stood outside of his cubicle, she had her best puppy look on. "Please Uncle Reno? I needa do a report on Mr. Shin-Ra!"

Both Rude and Elena rolled out of their cubicles to watch Reno curiously. The redheaded Turk twirled his pony tail around on his fingers, "I dunno… You're folks don't exactly like me."

"But you and Auntie Kami are friends so that makes you okay by me!" She declared.

He glanced over at the other two hopefully, "I guess I could do it yo."

Rude and Elena exchanged glances, they wouldn't interfere but they would make Reno keep his information G rated.

Ccccccccccccc

Sure enough the next day Lucy ran in with her paper held over her head and she handed it quite proudly to her father and uncle. "Look Daddy! I wrote about Mr. Shin-Ra!" She triumphantly addressed both of them with a toothy grin.

Zack leaned over Sephiroth's shoulder and started to read the paper. His eyes ran over the words and a smile cracked along his face. Sephiroth's mouth also formed into a smile as he read.

_President Rufus Shin-Ra by Lucy Valentine_

_Mr. Shin-Ra runs the President of the Shin-Ra company. He's Mommy and Daddy's boss, he's the boss of a lot of people. He has his own office on the top floor. He likes to boss people around and he's not very nice. Auntie Kami says that he's not that bad when you get him away from his bad attitude. Mommy says that my Auntie is kinda like the Goddess because she must have unreal patience. Or she's a glutton for punishment, whatever that means._

_Uncle Reno says he doesn't like Mr. Shin-Ra. He says he makes him write a lot of reports. I can see why they wouldn't get along. But I like writing. But one time Uncle Reno was watching Mr. Shin-Ra while they were in Junon. And this dolphin came up to him. But Mr. Shin-Ra got really scared and jumped into Uncle Tseng's arms and started crying and yelling for his mommy! I kinda like Mr. Shin-Ra. He gives me candy whenever I go to visit them._

By the time Zack reached the second paragraph's conclusion, his eyes were dripping with tears as he laughed. "Scared of a dolphin?! What a loser!"

Sephiroth chuckled slightly, he could definitely appreciate that his boss was terrified of something so docile. It was actually rather pathetic that Rufus was terrified of dolphins. He gazed down at his daughter, "sweetie this is the best one yet, so we'll just put this up on the fridge okay?"

"Yeah! Sounds super Daddy!" She beamed, "I'm gonna go tell Mommy!" She scampered off excitedly to inform her mother of this.

Sephiroth placed the report on the large metal appliance while he secured it with a magnet. This way they could scan it tomorrow for fingerprints.

Ccccccccccc

Later that night, Kamui slipped into the kitchen to get a bar of chocolate. She set up her operation on the floor, because no one would think to dust for prints on the floor. She took her chocolate bar and bit off the corner. "I'm an emo kid… non conforming as can be." She hummed as she posted her new item of information as Bladestar Runner. "I have paint on my nails and makeup on my face…"


	4. A Day in the Life

**A/N:** I hope everyone enjoys the random Vincent and Zack fanservice in this chapter. And Paopu, is short for Paopu fruit, which is a famous fruit from KH! Which reminds me. Lady Liberty, for the holidays, I would like: The KH Riku figure, the Jenova's Witness shirt (as seen in VG Cats if anyone reads it), and another shirt from cafe press. Anyway...

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own. So there you are.**

Tseng stood in Sephiroth's kitchen and glared profusely at the fridge in his presence. There, exactly as the General had hung it, was Lucy's report. And yet on the Shin-Ra boards was the same report. They couldn't find a trace of any sort of fingerprints on the paper beyond what they expected. "This is baffling Sephiroth, there's no evidence of fowl play in the least. Whoever it is has a vendetta against the whole command staff… This does not bode well."

"Agreed," Sephiroth nodded as he let his eyes sweep the kitchen. He sighed, someone wanted something, but it was unnerving that their black mail was so easily deterring. Not to mention they were using his daughter as the means of their blackmail. "I doubt that the posting of guards will help. They've gotten past the top officers of SOLDIERs and three highly trained Turks. Not to mention that we've managed to install the most advanced of all security systems here…"

"Seph, I'll keep looking, but until then why don't you update Tessa on the situation," Tseng commented as he walked over and picked up the report.

Sephiroth nodded and walked out of the kitchen, he descended the stairs and wound his way through to the back door. He stepped outside to the new pool, and wandered along the deck. Tessa sat under a parasol with several research papers on the table as she reviewed them. She looked up as Sephiroth approached, "hi. What's the matter? You have your angry face on again."

"It's just bothering me, someone is trying to blackmail the company," he sat down on another deck chair.

Tessa smiled, "I think you're blowing this a little out of proportion. It's just a harmless prank, like the time Zack orchestrated beach day in your office as an anniversary present."

"Don't remind me…" Sephiroth muttered.

She chuckled, "but in all seriousness, just keep on your toes. I'll have Glenn look at the results on the fingerprint scans and give them to you."

"I appreciate it," he replied and glanced over at the pool.

Kamui had on a Shin-Ra t-shirt and a pair of jeans, as though her pool time hadn't been her idea. Lucy had on her new swimsuit, as did Zack, the two were taunting the clone. Lucy's swimsuit was a rather nice floral one piece, while Zack had on a new set of black trunks with a pair of dragons on them. "Cheer up dear, you look like a drowning cat!" called Verdot from the hot tub where he and Vincent had decided to park themselves. Vincent glanced down at his swim trunks and sighed, "…Why did I make that bet…?" He wasn't planning on leaving in his heart-laden trunks to join in being scorned.

Verdot clapped him on the shoulder, "because you honestly thought you stood a chance."

Kamui frowned and tried to haul herself out of the water with a disgruntled look. Zack and Lucy pulled her back in, "you're no fun kid." Zack taunted as she tried to flee.

She glared at him, "Shut up! I just hate water is all."

Sephiroth stood up and walked towards where she was trying to escape. He gave her a kick in the head and held her just under the surface for a while. "You know you really should learn to swim."

She ducked out from under his foot and in a few strokes, crossed the pool, and flew out. Kamui spun around and glared at them, "I hate you! I wish I'd never been born!" And with that she took off running into the house.

Lucy gave puppy eyes up at Zack, "why do they always fight?" Her lip quivered, "It's really, really sad."

"Shh… it's okay kiddo." Zack hugged her and pulled her out of the water. "Sometimes brothers and sisters don't get along very well." He set her up on the pool deck before he climbed out. They walked over to the cooler by the pool and pulled out a pair of popsicles. "These are pretty good right?"

"Yep! I want Paopu!" Lucy declared as she grabbed the yellow one.

She picked up one and handed it to her father, "you should apologize."

Tessa chuckled slightly from her place on the chair, "Lucy, why don't you go show your father what you did in art class yesterday?"

"Okay! You too Uncle Zack!" She grabbed Sephiroth's hand and led him inside. She marched him up to her room and pointed at the picture on the door. It was a picture of Sephiroth, Tessa, and Zack all together on one side, on the other side was a picture of Vincent, Verdot and Tseng. She beamed proudly at her odd assortment of semi-stick figures, each one had the name floating over the head, which was the only way that Sephiroth could really tell them apart.

"This is very well drawn, Lucy." He complimented. "You're handwriting has improved."

She chortled gleefully, "thank you!"

Zack had a goofy grin on as he saw the Sephiroth drawing had a throbbing vein in the temple. "She's got you nailed."

"Silence Zachary," Sephiroth grumbled as he walked a few steps, "you two should take a shower. And if you see that _thing_ get the mop out. The halls are covered in water."

Zack sighed and walked down the hall, he knocked a couple of times on Kamui's bedroom door. "Hey, when you get the chance, Seph wants you to clean up the water in the halls." When he didn't receive a reply, he shrugged and walked away, one hand beating the water out of his ear.

Lucy walked into her room, she cleaned off and pulled on a little blouse and dress with flowers on it. She sat down on her bed and pulled out her inherited Moogle doll, Kupo. She sighed, "I don't get it. Say Kupo, did any of Grandpa's brothers ever fight with him?"

She got no reply and she leaned back against her bed, out from under it slinked one of the several cats they'd obtained to deal with the pest problem. "Here, Mittens," Lucy called. The cat jumped onto the bed and nuzzled up against Lucy. She let one hand stroke the cat, "what do you think Mittens? Did you ever fight with your brothers and sisters?" The cat meowed, and rolled onto her back, "really? That's kinda sad. But maybe it's different for kitties."

The cat purred and fell asleep. Lucy smiled and rolled over before she too fell asleep.


	5. How to Annoy Sephiroth

**A/N:** Okay, well I need some advice for the next chapter. See the whole giving of an excessive amount of Nerf guns was based off of my mother and I going shopping yesterday and my procurement of a new toy for myself. I can't decide if I should put the Turks Tournament in this story or as a separate yet related one shot. So if anyone has any advice please put it in your review. :D

**Disclaimer: I own nada. Simple as that.**

Lucy: Age 8

Lucy sat at the table and swung her legs, she could just brush the ground with her toes now if she really tried from her chair. She giggled and then looked up at the ceiling. The light had just started filtering in through the windows to the kitchen, she spooned more of her Happy Charms cereal into her mouth as she hummed something she'd heard before. She swallowed her mouthful of food as the door opened.

Vincent walked in wearing a pair of black pajama bottoms, he'd pulled his unruly black hair into a pony tail at the base of his neck. "Good morning," he muttered as he walked over to the fridge. He pulled out the carton of milk and pored a glass for himself.

Lucy pouted at her grandfather, "Grampa you know what today is!"

He furrowed his brows for a moment, he chugged his glass of milk to buy himself some time, "ah, happy birthday."

She stood up and flung herself at him, "thank you Grampa!" She giggled as she hung onto his clawed hand.

"You're welcome, now what would you like to do for your birthday?" He asked as he scooped her into his arms.

"I wanna go to Mideel!" She declared as she hugged his neck.

"I'm afraid by the time we get there, then it won't be your birthday anymore." He replied as he carried her back to her seat and set her down.

She frowned and thought for a moment, "well then, I wanna have a party at the top of the Shin-Ra building for everyone in my class!"

Vincent raised an eyebrow, "well I'm sure we can work something out."

He walked out of the room and closed the door leaving Lucy alone. She grabbed her backpack as he left and ran out of the room. She slid down the rail of the stairs and darted out the double doors of the estate. She ran to the waiting door where a pair of Turks stood waiting, Elena and Cissnei both waved up at her as she leaped off of the steps onto the ground. "Happy birthday, are you ready for school?" Cissnei asked as she opened the door.

"Yes I am, and thank you," Lucy smiled as she piled into the car. Elena followed as Cissnei stepped around and climbed into the driver seat. The three drove into Midgar, the Turks chatted while Lucy would occasionally poke in a question. "What's it like working with the Turklets?" She asked as they drove in through the Shin-Ra personel entrance.

"Well, at the moment we have half a dozen Turks registered to work with a Trainee partner and provide assessment, and in turn the Turk can't go up in ranking unless they have at least one Trainee who's passed into the full Turks." Elena explained as Cissnei put on the cruise control. "But there are several people who've yet to pass the program on both ends."

"Who's that?" Lucy asked excitedly.

"Well let's see, Reno, mostly because his partner gets fed up with him and Rude has to interviene before they want to strangle him. Rodney had a problem with his first Trainee last year when they ended up getting so utterly lost that they found him three months later with amnesia. Kamui seems to have personality dysfunction, so Tseng tends to give her the difficult Trainees, and so far they seem to be working well together." Cissnei replied from the front as she pulled off of the freeway. "At any rate it looks like the top batch of Trainees have been doing well with their consideration."

"Wow, have you ever had a Trainee?" Lucy asked amazed.

"No, I never volunteer, after all as Second in Command I can't really go much higher than I am." She replied brightly.

Elena giggled, "alright Lucy, we're here, what time should we pick you up at?"

"Four, we're going to a reactor today so I'll be back late!" She replied brightly. She grabbed her backpack and jogged up the steps, at the top a sullen young boy was climbing the steps. One hand was desperately trying to displace his neat bowl cut hair. "Wait up Kai!" She shouted as she ran up behind him.

"Oh hi there," Gregory 'Kai' Morgan muttered as he continued to try and make his hair seem more natural. "How are you Lucrecia?"

"Fine, and you?" She replied with a smile.

"That's good... I am." He replied disenchanted.

Lucy giggled and jabbed him in the arm as gently as she could, he still winced in pain, "so what's got you in a rut?"

"My sister came home last night complaining about her new partner in the Turks. Some girl who looks like you, Kari or something… Anyway, she said her partner was a bunch of words like, 'curmudgeon' and 'dysfunctional.' Despite that she likes her… How can someone be mean but still have friends…?"

They walked into class, "I think it's nice that they get along." Lucy sat down at her desk and pulled out a book. The teacher walked in and they all stood up with their things. The group piled into the bus and Lucy picked out a seat next to Kai. Kai smiled weakly, "um, so how's your birthday been going so far?" He muttered. Lucy had bragged about being the oldest in their class for two weeks, so he didn't think forgetting her birthday would be the best idea.

"Pretty good, after school we're all going to my birthday party," she replied.

"Sounds like fun, oh and here's a present from Ari and me," he reached into his bag and handed her an action figure of a large dragon. "For your collection, you said this was the one you were missing right?"

"Yeah, thanks!" Lucy smiled as she put the dragon carefully into her backpack. The bus pulled to a stop and they disembarked from their transport.

At the door to the entrance to the heart of Mako Reactor 4, stood Rufus Shin-Ra, flanked by a pair of Turks one with black hair, streaked with red and the other with silver. He greeted the children, "welcome everybody. I'm President Shin-Ra, and today we're going to be taking a tour of a Mako Reactor." He smiled, the group let up a cheer, "now follow me and we'll go see how a Mako Reactor works!" As he turned he grimaced and glanced over at Kamui, "why the hell do I have to give a tour?"

"Because that bastard of a brother will have your head if you don't." She replied with a faint shrug.

The other Turk shifted uncomfortably, "honestly, can't you two behave?"

Kamui put a hand on her Turklet's shoulder, "Behavior is a very broad term, besides behavior patterns are what we make of them." And with that she started to hum, "she told me to walk this way, talk this way, just give me a kiss..."

Ari frowned and Rufus continued to lead the excitable group of children through the reactor. The tour pressed forward through the reactor with Rufus pointing out the various important parts. Lucy gazed around in wonder at the various contraptions, pointing things out to Kai. When they finished the tour, the group piled into the bus and they drove off to the Shin-Ra building, however the two Turks had neglected to go along after they took a call from Tseng saying they were in an emergency.

Ccccccccc

Outside of the Sector 8 shopping district stood Tseng, a pair of sunglasses on as he stared around discreetly. Elena snuggled closer to his arm as the leaves in the trees rustled, "what are we waiting for?"

"Shh," Tseng hushed her gently, "we're waiting for the rest of the team." They waited another minute, when down the street walked Reno and Rude, each with a Trainee tailing them. From the crosswalk emerged Cissnei and another Trainee, Anna, also known as Analog, walked along side Rodney hand in hand, with a Trainee behind them. Finally off of a lamppost swung Kamui, carrying her Trainee under her free hand. The Turks assembled around Tseng, "everyone here?"

Right when he asked, a car pulled up behind him and parked, it contained Verdot and Vincent. "Sorry, we were delayed by Sephiroth, but I don't suspect he knows." Vincent muttered his apology.

Tseng nodded, "okay, our mission is simple, today is a very important day, and I can assume you all have something in mind. So move with discression and speed. Let's move!"

Every Turk whipped out a pair of sunglasses and placed them on, then they turned their attention to the task at hand. The group surged into the shopping complex, and aimed right for the large, Toys R Yours shop. They entered the building and swarmed the section with Merf guns, the brightly colored plastic weapons had foam darts for ammo so they would be safe for children to use. The Trainees had spread out to cover the perimeter while the senior Turks picked out gifts. Reno spotted the Merf Sky Spark, the equivalent of a child's assault rifle, he pulled off one and stroked it. "Whoa baby… I want one."

Rude picked up the Merf Volcanic Eruption, the child gatling gun, and glanced back at the shelf wistfully. Kamui picked up the Merf Falcon Eye, a sniper rifle, and then picked up another one. Tseng frowned from where he monitored, "why did you take two?"

"One for me, and one for the target sir," she replied as she stepped back from the group.

He frowned, "fine, anyone else want one for themselves?" Shortly he saw the entire team had grabbed a second gun and plenty of extra darts. He took another handgun and a pack of ammo. "Fine…"

Verdot glanced at Vincent's purchace, a Merf Wasp, their equivalent of the Cerberus. "Honestly, in your own image?"

Vincent raised an eyebrow as they approached the checkout line, "and that's not?" He pointed to the large Merf Annihilation, which was a massive rocket launcher with a smaller side gun accompanying it.

"Pshaw Vince," he stepped up to the register and pulled out a bundle of coupons. The cashier raised an eyebrow at the line full of suit clad, sunglasses wearing people, all of them carrying some sort of Merf gun.

"Will these all be together?" The cashier asked as Verdot handed her the bundle of coupons.

"Yes," he replied.

"Your total today is five gil." She took the coins from Verdot and the Turks moved out from the store.

Cccccccccccc

Lucy giggled as she saw the stack of presents before her, Kai stared wistfully at all of them as the class entered into the President's office. She sat down at the table along with her friends, they had cake and ice cream along with plenty of games until it was finally time to delve into the pile of presents.

Tessa and Sephiroth stepped forward with a large box, "here sweety, this is from us." Tessa noted as she handed over the large present.

Lucy unwrapped it and smiled slightly, "a Science kit… thanks."

Zack stepped forward with a package, "here ya go kiddo!" He grinned.

She opened it up to find a wooden sword, "A wooden sword! Thank you Uncle Zack!"

She turned to the first present from the pile, "hmm, to Lucy from anonymous…" She unwrapped to find a Merf Falcon Eye inside. Her eyes lit up, "wow a Falcon Eye!" She pulled the box aside and then opened up another one, "A Merf Wasp! Cool!" She finished off the pile that had only contained Merf guns and then opened up the presents from her classmates. A new art set and paints, some pencils, books, and a new bath set had found a spot covering the Chemistry kit. "Thank you everyone! Especially you anonymous!"

Sephiroth scowled and turned his attention to the Turks milling around on the fringes of the party. "Okay who gave her all of those Merf guns?!" His gaze fell on Reno.

"Wasn't me yo!" He shouted and leaped into Rude's arms.

Sephiroth's neck swung around to Kamui and Ari, "you, brat?" Kamui ignored him, so Sephiroth turned his attention to where Vincent, Verdot, and Tseng stood, with an air of smugness. "You three!"

"Now my good General," Tseng put his hand up, "I confess, it was all of us. Mission accomplished team, dismissed!"

The Turks let out a cheer and dispersed to the elevator.


End file.
